To snoop, or not to snoop -- that is the question facing parents worried their kids may be sharing a little too much online. Is it okay to monitor your kids' social media? Do you need to have the "talk" about why posting those bikini photos may not be the best idea?
Teenagers aren't exactly known for thinking things through, especially when it comes to posting something online. If they think it, they post it. If they take a picture, they share it.
Child psychologist Nancy McGarrah says that can come back to bite them.
We live in a split-second world of send it now, worry about it later.
"So, you have a great picture that someone just took in the hot tub, and you think it would be really fun to post it," said McGarrah.
McGarrah says between Twitter, and Tumblr, texting, and Facebook, teenagers are literally putting themselves out there for the whole world to see.
"I think parents need to say, not just, ‘Don't do this.' But, ‘Let me show you what it can do to somebody.'
McGarrah says the part of the teen brain that controls impulsivity is still developing, so thinking about the consequences isn't their forte. If they're mad, sad, or just have something to say, they let it rip.
"It causes a lot of problems. What you write causes problems. What you post in terms of pictures causes problems," explained McGarrah.
That may be especially true when it comes to internship programs and prospective colleges for your child. Why? They monitor social media, and they might not like what they see.
"On a much smaller basis, there's been friendships lost, and relationships lost. And reputations hurt," said McGarrah
McGarrah says you can't be there 24-7 to hold your kid's hand, or smart phone.
"But you can talk to them. I think parents should talk to them about that just like they would talk to them about smoking, drinking, drugs," said McGarrah.
So, is it okay for parents to snoop? McGarrah says many do monitor, but be upfront about it.
"They need to know that at any time you can say, ‘I'm going to check your history.' And the child knows it. It's not a secret, it's not a spying. It's a very open communication, and it's for their protection," McGarrah said.
There's a flip side to this story. A recent survey by Children's Mercy Hospitals and Clinics in Kansas City found 83 percent of parents felt the benefits of social media outweighed the potential risks. So even with privacy concerns, and the threat of predators and cyber bullies, most parents felt their kids online experience is helping them grow into well-rounded adults.
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